this is the boy your mother warned you about

this is the boy your mother warned you about

Seng-A-Roo

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[	archive	\|	journal archive	]

I <3 Ryo

[Aug. 30th, 2006|01:33 am]

[	Current Mood	\|	happy	]
[	Current Music	\|	U - Super Junior	]

Ryo, Me, and Keo. 21st Birthday.

Ryo will always remain my best friend. Not just that, but my first real love. I'm glad we're at the point we're we are, although we are no longer officially together. I'd like it if things were mended and patched up and he and I were together officially like we were; but that's okay. He needs the space as he is a recent graduate and he needs to focus on his future here. He's decided to stay in the US instead of going back to Japan. He deserves that more than anything else. But I'm truly happy that I can still talk to him like we are together as one, nothing changes the fact that we're as good to each other as we are now. I finally saw him today for the first after so many attempts and weeks. We had dinner and drinks, and talked about everything; us, the future, school, and where we both were in our lives. Someday he and will be together again. It's amazing how someone, as in myself, changes, when they finally give in and let someone into their hearts after such a while. I love him. Always and forever. He will always be my Ryo-Chun.

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(no subject)

[Jul. 1st, 2006|01:51 am]

[	Current Mood	\|	tired	]
[	Current Music	\|	You & Me - Wang Lee Hom	]

I don't know what it is about the month of June, but I am not liking it at all whatsoever; and it seems like I'm not the only person. I don't know if it's the weather or if it's because school is officially out now (which should and is supposed to be a good thing) but it seems like everyone's feeling down, drained, and out of it.

Anyway, update on me I guess. TWO new jobs. ~H2O+ Plus and Karen Millen both offered me positions at the Beverly Center and guess what? I took them both. Will be doing part-time sales and marketing for ~H2O+ and then part-time sales and stylizing for Karen Millen. Exciting. They both pay exceptionally well. At one place I get to stand around and play with beauty and skincare products all day and the other, fool around and play dress up. It's easy. Loves it so far. Bev. Center is kind of dorky, because it's supposed to be all "boosiey" and "poshed" up but I just laugh at it. New H&M will be there later this summer. I'm stoked; let's see how it compares to Chicago.

Ryo and I have been back together for a couple months now. We just split for a brief moment but have both agreed on making the relationship work although he hasn't been doing a good job on his part, but maybe he's just trying to enjoy his summer. He did get his work visa though, so that's a great thing. I love him to pieces. I'm going to marry him someday, as soon as we get this stuff worked through.

May not be going to school during summer session. Too lazy so financial aid paperwork might have been delayed. Also I'm going to start speaking to a counselor about some personal issues; if you really care, you can ask; if I didn't mention it to you, don't take it personal; it's a sensitive subject for me. Thanks to all who have supported my decision in doing so though. Love you guys.

Was in Wisconsin about a month ago. Time passed so slowly but it was good to see the family.

That's it. We all moved out of the Culver City apartment, and I am either looking for a place in Hollywood or West LA with Leila. Can best friends live together?

Life in LA is good...if everything fits.

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3 Months Later, An Update

[May. 10th, 2006|12:39 pm]

[	Current Mood	\|	blank	]
[	Current Music	\|	Fly - Epik High	]

I'm due for a trip back home to Wisconsin at the end of this month. I'm excited and nervous. Mom and Dad will definately freak out about my weight; not to mention my hair. There's going to be the usual freaking out about my college finances and grades but that's expected. I can't wait to spend time with the family though and be around my brothers and sisters. It'll be nice to just see everyone again.

Ryo and I split. I don't really want to talk about it, but it was my decision. I'm hoping it will just be a brief break because I'm not sure if this is what I really wanted in the end. Things are complicated.

I'm not at FIDM right now. It just takes a toll on my mind and my body. I'll start back up in July rejuevenated and all.

The lease ends at the end of June for my apartment, so I should be house hunting soon.

I'll graduate in December if everything FINALLY goes through.

Christine will be here in a few days, how exciting.

My life = full of work (not even that much) and wandering thoughts. I'll be okay.

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My Migrane Thoughts	[Feb. 28th, 2006\|12:47 am]
I am starting to worry about my health again. This time, I'm not sure if it's controlable or not. I've been getting these huge migranes on a daily basis and I'm getting really scared. I want to call my parents and ask if I could get their insurance card, so I could maybe see a doctor down here, but they'll worry too much; either that or just yell at me. I'm going to try some over the counter medicine first. I'm not sure if it's the stress or what that's making my head hurt so much. Everytime I'm with Ro, I need to pop in these giant horse pulls, and they are starting to hurt and become redundant; but then again it's only Tylenol. The veins inside my head feel like they are going to explode; it's really hard to concentrate or think straight. This has been going on for a couple weeks now, any longer and I might need to make an emergency trip home to Wisconsin. Speaking of Ryo. We are doing well. He moves into his new apartment this week. He's excited. As Jiro and I are also. Jiro's going to be his roomate. They are the sweetest boys ever and make me happy. I need to get my life back into control. With everything. Willie randomly decided that he was going to move out today, through a text message. Oh well. I want to fix my relationship with my roomates. I've given them hell, and they're already going through a tough time. It's been a hard year already, but it's so hard to believe that it's already March. I need to get things done with school on a timely matter. Like my FAFSA and registering for class and meeting with my academic advisor, who hates my guts. I need to stick to my New Year's resolution. I'm getting a new job, or am in hopes of getting one. I had to go through several to find what I'm looking for. I now know that I need to get something on a full time basis, and I need to be working with people who are good for my and my health. I can't be dealing with a nonsense enviornment. I love Bebe and all but sometimes I commission at 22 dollars and sometimes I'm at 7. I'm going to the Beverly Center tomorrow to meet up with Crystal's boyfriend at DKNY. He happens to manage it and is interested in meeting me and taking a look at some crudentials. Some days, I don't eat enough, and I don't even realize, to the point where I almost pass out, and it's scary. I'm getting pencil thin again. Another reason why I need that insurance card is to see if there are any doctors that are under my parent's plan to help me out. I need an eating coach, or something to remind me that living on a diet coke, and maybe some fries for a day won't cut it. Perhaps I can only talk about this when I have a headache because sometimes it's just too painful.
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I Want OUT of this Crazy Mess!

[Feb. 10th, 2006|03:41 pm]

[	Current Mood	\|	stressed	]
[	Current Music	\|	Rich Girl - Gwen Stefani	]

Oh my gosh. Where do I even start. I'm not in class because my collection is not fully finished and up to par, so here I am at the lab trying to fix it up; but I can't even think and I don't know why I'm shaking furiously. I'm shaking so bad that I can hardly control this pen to outline my drawings, I don't even want to bother to work on it. I know I'm going to have to redo it anyway so there's no piont in wasting the time, energy, or paper that I already don't have.

GOD! My own fucking boyfriend doesn't even want to see me. Well I don't know if it's that he doesn't want to see me, but he's so busy. Ugh! With what, I don't even have a fucking clue. He's supposed to be moving into a new apartment in two weeks so he's busy looking for one. But what the fuck! He's going to Palm Springs this weekend? Yeah, I am his obligation now. And I told him that before we got together. I didn't even hear about this trip, I had to hear about it from his friend. I don't know if he is or what he is keeping from me. There is no communication. I never know what's going on. Just remember, he's so good for you though.

I WANT TO CRY!

EITHER THAT OR JUMP IN FRONT OF A MOVING BUS.

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Changes & Goals

[Jan. 30th, 2006|02:25 pm]

[	Current Mood	\|	exhausted	]
[	Current Music	\|	And Then We Kiss - Britney Spears	]

It's the New Year. Well, only 11 more months until 2007. This means we're well into it already. It seems that every year is just passing by faster and faster.

I turned 21 exactly two weeks ago. It wasn't all cracked out to be as everyone makes it. But then again I was pretty lame. Ryo and I had dinner in Pasadena but I couldn't eat much, I felt so sick to my stomach. Earlier Joanna and her mom made me traditional Korean soup and we had cake, I don't know what did it for me. If it was too much food or too much partying that weekend. I didn't go out for my birthday but that was okay. It was just another day like every other year. I'm really looking forward to St. Patrick's Day. That's one of my favorite holidays of the year, way better than the birthday. But, hey at least I can drink legally now.

Ryo and I are officially together now. Well we have been now for more than a couple weeks. I'm guessing like 5 or 6. I haven't been home or slept in my own bed in ages. I'm with him all the time, but I enjoy it. He keeps me company, he adores me, and I love his prescence and just who he is. That's what it should all be about.

I'm still working at Bebe but I'm thinking I want to switch over to either Fashion Advertising, PA, or PR. I'm a good people person and craigslist has some pretty good openings.

I graduate in August. Cross your fingers that everything goes through.

I'm concerned about my health. I need to start eating more, and eating healthier. I'm starting my new diet today, well it isn't a diet exactly yet. I'm just going to start eating better, more often, and healthier until I can see a professional and they can tell me what I need to exactly do. I just want to pack on a few more pounds and get in shape. Everytime I see my friends or just people in general, they tell me I'm getting skinner; and that's with even people I've seen in less than a month or so. It's getting me worried. I need to lay off the protein and start getting in grains, fruits, and vegetables. This means laying off the chocolate and candy, and perhaps the Chai Lattes.

I want to start working out soon and I'm going to ask Ryo to help me start and maintain that. I just want to be back in shape and healthy again. Plus beach season is coming up. I need to also start tanning again. The fake stuff. And I'm also going to start bleaching my teetch and stop drinking so much Diet Coke and Lattes. I'm not superficial. I just know that I don't like my gross, red, bumpy complexion. I just want to be back to my normal health, it's not that I'm sick; I could just be better. I miss the days where my hair wasn't falling out and I didn't have to wear so much cover-up and worry about food.

Along with this comes me drinking less. Granted I never, ever; and I mean this, pay for my drinks when I go out (maybe this is the problem), I need to cut back on the drinking. I don't party that often, maybe only once a week but still, I just don't like the person I become when I drink. I get violent, emotional, and just grumpy. It takes me so long to recover after one night of drinking; but most of all, I just don't like me when I drink.

Wow, all these reflections. I really do need to get back up on both feet again. Thanks Ryo.

Oh yeah, I'm also running on 45 minutes of sleep. Stupid homework. I hope I did well.

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Reminder To Yourself

[Dec. 20th, 2005|01:48 pm]

[	Current Mood	\|	blah	]
[	Current Music	\|	Hung Up - Madonna	]

You're turning 21 in less than 4 weeks.

You need to get a new job, as much as you somewhat enjoy Bebe; you're not making enough money.

YOU'RE WITH RYO.

Even though Alvin's in LA, you don't have to be obligated to do anything with him; physically, sexually, emotionaly, or MENTALLY.

Forget what Garrett said the other night at Rage. You know that he's not worth you're time as much as he wants to get back together or start something. Don't even worry about it.

Thai's amazingly cute and has the personality that captures you, but he's not even sure if he's gay or not. Don't hurt yourself. You have something great in front of you. As much as you want to get to know him and want to help him discover who he is; it's too much work. You hate the way he looks at you and that image will be stuck inside your mind but, try hard to keep your mind off of him.

ONCE AGAIN, Ryo is a great thing. No one's ever been like this to you. Don't ruin it.

Try harder next quarter. Meet deadlines. Be responsible. This might be your last chance.

Make some new year's resolutions, and stick to them.

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You've Failed

[Sep. 12th, 2005|09:29 am]

[	Current Mood	\|	depressed	]
[	Current Music	\|	Suspension - Mae	]

I just took my first final exam of the Summer quarter. Guess how I did? Not so hot. F, for failure.

I've never left an exam so empty in my life before. I couldn't even try to bullshit anything if I wanted to. It was either all wrong or all right. I spoke to the instructor afterwards and told her that is wasn't completely empty but it wasn't close to full either. She told me that it was worth a good try but she was going to have to fail me because I missed two sessions and a whole lot of work. Great, this is going to cost me more money that I don't have.

What hurts me the most is the thought of my parents and how crushed they'll be to find this out. They took out this huge 30 grand loan, just for this year, in their name for me and expected me to do so well. I feel like not only have I've let myself down, but the entire family. Failing a class is like failing a part of my life.

I'm going to really have to say good-bye to Guess.

I guess one good thing is that Willie bought his ticket and we'll be on the same flight when I come back to LA. That lifts a little off my shoulder as far as rent money goes.

I can't think anymore, I want to cry, but it's not going to do any good.

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(no subject)	[Sep. 11th, 2005\|09:24 pm]
Why do I choose to move so fast with my life? Damn, Seng. So, I'm going home this weekend and it seems to feel like it'll never be Thursday. I'm going to the football game, but hopefully for only halftime so I can see Pa Houa dance. I'm so nervous for that. I'm nervous for home period. Am I still the same person that I was some 3 years ago? I'll be meeting up with friends from my childhood, people I went to high school with, and people I used to live with. What will they think? Well, I mean I don't really care what they think but will I leave a good impression is what I'm worried for. Damn this lease, I'm bound to it for the next some odd nine months and I just want to move back home. I have you Seng for making such quick decisions. You're basically fucked; hopefully in the future you will think before acting upon your dumb decisions.
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Sucky

[Sep. 10th, 2005|05:25 am]

[	Current Mood	\|	disappointed	]
[	Current Music	\|	Chicago Is So Two Years Ago - Fall Out Boy	]

I think I'm failing two classes, which is going to cost me $600 each. Teachers here at FIDM don't really like me. I am in desperate need of this vacation and quitting my job.

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(no subject)	[Sep. 6th, 2005\|12:05 am]
FUCK! HIS MYSPACE SAYS HE'S LIVING IN JAPAN NOW! THAT RUINS ALL MY PLANS OF GETTING LAID IN MILWAUKEE WHEN I COME HOME! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I'M AN ANGRY LITTLE CHILD RIGHT NOW.
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Leaving On A Jet Plane

[Sep. 4th, 2005|08:14 pm]

[	Current Mood	\|	hungry	]
[	Current Music	\|	Step Into My World - Jennifer Lopez	]

I'M COMING HOME! TO GREEN BAY AND CHICAGO! HERE'S THE FLIGHT ITINERARY:

DEPARTING LAX:
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 15 @ 11:59 PM

ARRIVING AUSTIN STRAUBEL:
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 16 @ 7:37 AM

CONNECTING FLIGHT IN CHICAGO @ O'HARE.

It's an over night trip. It's not really going to take me a whole 24 hours to get to Green Bay.

AND THEN WHEN I HEAD BACK TO LOS ANGELES with willie, THIS IS WHAT IT'LL LOOK LIKE:

DEPARTING AUSTIN STRAUBEL:
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 26 @ 7:24 PM

ARRIVING LAX:
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27 @ 12:29 AM

Connecting in Chicago, again.

Then it's work the next day at 1 PM and back to school.

SO THAT GIVES ME 10 DAYS OF VACATION!

These are my plans so far.

Friday, 9-16: Green Bay, FAMILY.
Saturday, 9-17: East Homecoming. I'll be at the game for half time to watch my kid sister dance. Then, it's the dance for Pa Houa and Pa Yia. I'm playing fashion expert, cosmetologist, and limo driver.
Sunday, 9-18: OPEN
Monday, 9-19: OPEN
Tuesday, 9-20: Milwaukee? Greg?
Wednesday, 9-21: Kenosha. Yanger Banger.
Thursday, 9-22: Chicago. Eric. Dan. Heather. Cameron.
Friday, 9-23: Chicago. Christine and Dave's fancy schmancy party.
Saturday, 9-24: OPEN
Sunday, 9-25: OPEN
Monday, 9-26: Green Bay, FAMILY.

I will update this as we go along. I perhaps want to go to Minnesota, Madison, and Oshkosh?

Paul Burkeland? YES?

Marie Holl. FOR SURE.

Lauren Christopherson. Heck yeah.

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3 Weeks Later

[Aug. 29th, 2005|12:28 pm]

[	Current Mood	\|	melancholy	]
[	Current Music	\|	This Time Is The Last Time - Mae	]

I rarely write in here and when I do get the chance to, I feel like I have a thousand things to say, but nothing comes out. Anyway. Shanna, Susan, and Quinn are down here. It's been pretty fun and sort of relaxing, minus the stupid $15 Hollywood tour that showed us a bunch of famous people's schrubs and bushes. Lame. I hate tourist activities.

I've spent way too much money since I've gotten it. I have a few things I definately need to return, just because I kind of feel bad about making purchases towards stupid things, like really ripped up Guess jeans.

I'll be back home in Green Bay by Friday, September 16th. Boy, am I excited about that. I can't wait to see my family and all my freinds. This California sun makes me a whole lot bitcher that what I already am.

I am falling behind in all my classes very, very fast. I might have to retake, and re-pay for this stupid Pattern class. I should have dropped it when I had the chance. But, once my little weekend vacation is over, it'll time to focus on school work and actual work. I'm actually excited and looking forward to that.

Speaking of work. I discovered my new favorite store this weekend. American Apparel.

www.americanapparel.net

Check it out if you've never heard of it, most of you, I don't think so, but it's such a great brand. Blank tee shirts, fine cottons, fitted, cheaply priced, great quality, and best of all, no sweatshops. Everything's made in downtown LA. Everything's so simple and colorful. Mix and match it up. This is going to be my style for the Fall, I think? California Fall I mean, as we really don't get snow here. The photography's artsy and modern in a way, but not too "I'm too artsy for the world and I'm going to take photos at weird angles" kind of artsy. Like provacatively, simple artsy. I'm going to send in photos for it and see if I can get some print work with them. I'm not a super model, I know that. American Apparel isn't interested in super models, I also know that.

Oh. If anyone is ever in Chicago (I know they have AA there) or in LA and you're a student. You get 15% OFF! How cool. I bought an organic, unbleached, tee yesterday with green stitching that was dyed in veggies! How awesome, right!? Only $12. I am in <3.

I feel like there's a million and a half things I need to get done, but for some reason, I just don't have the energy to do it. Entertaining friends takes a lot out of you. SIGH. It's been fun, but exhausting.

I haven't talked to Yang in the longest time. He's called and gotten a hold of me a total of ONE time. I actually am starting to kind of miss him. But I think he was at LAX like an hour ago or something. He'll be back in Kenosha this weekend I know. I can't wait to see him.

I'm starting to like and I guess, get used to LA. It's not too bad, minus the homework. So that's alright.

And boys. That's a whole nother subject. Asian boys. I only like Asian boys now. How effen' scary is that.

Okay, anyway, I'm gonna run. I'll post up my American Apparel pictures sometime this week when I'm done with them. Oh yeah, I'm interested in a sales position with them too. And you know what's cool, on their online application, they'd like it if you sent them pictures of yourself. I don't think they really take an interest on what people look like but what their attitudes are portrayed on photographs. How fun.

And I'll let you know about my flight details ASAP.

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Rock Out With Your Cock Out

[Aug. 8th, 2005|01:17 pm]

[	Current Mood	\|	bouncy	]
[	Current Music	\|	Homesick From Space Camp - Fall Out Boy	]

I stole this from Lauren. For one, because I love her a lot, and two, because I'm stuck on campus with nothing to do except drop this stupid class. And my last few entries were a little on the depressing side. So, I can try and cheer and giggle.

Twelve things you love:

12. Sushi. Anything RAW for that fact.
11. Getting Boba at 11 PM in Korea Town.
10. The Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising. School is so sick but it's so addicting.
9. Chicago, Illinois. My kind of town.
8. H&M and the boys running around there. So stylish.
7. Indie flicks.
6. Gael Garcia Bernal. See BAD EDUCATION if you haven't yet.
5. Running around in my underwear.
4. Marc by Marc, Marc Jacobs, and Louis Vuitton RTW, not those ugly monogram handbags.
3. Nayomi, my favorite and only 3 year old I love.
2. All my Chicago & Wisconsin friends + a few LA kids, here and there.
1. My Parents, Brothers, & Sisters.

Eleven bands (or musicians) you like:

11. Sandee Cornell.
10. Howie Day.
9. Phoenix.
8. Maroon 5.
7. Modest Mouse.
6. Franz Ferdinand.
5. The Killers.
4. Mae. Sorry Lauren, they're 4th on my list.
3. Number One Fan.
2. Death Cab For Cutie.
1. The Postal Service.

Ten things about your physical body:

10. I weigh a whole 120 lbs. and I'm getting skinner. YES!
9. I've got fake jet black hair. I know, Asians are supposed to have real black hair.
8. See this 6 pack...wait, it's now a beer gut.
7. The cartilage on my right ear is peirced. I think I'm gonna get it double peirced soon.
6. My bellybutton's an Innie.
5. I wear a size 8.5 in VAN'S.
4. Can't live without wearing little boy's white, Hane's tee shirts 'cause my armpits sweat like a pig.
3. My eyes are larger than the average chink's.
2. I wear a size 4 in girl's jeans. I <3 them.
1. My lips are chapped and burned from the California sun.

Nine stores at which you shop (I'm gonna include the one's I love but can't afford, YET):

9. Bloomingdale's.
8. DIESEL.
7. GUESS?
6. D&G.
5. Marc Jacobs.
4. Forever 21. Shop, yes. Work, HELL NO!
3. LA's very Mexico-like Fashion District.
2. H&M.
1. Fox Valley Thrift. Yes, I still LOVE GREEN BAY!

Eight favorite foods/drinks:

8. BEER!
7. Sour Skittles.
6. Pasta.
5. Sushi.
4. Tuna Salad.
3. Fried Chicken.
2. My mom's Huh-Mong food.
1. Diet Coke.

Seven people you've kissed:

7. Paul.
6. Cameron.
5. Eric.
4. Yang.
3. Tim.
2. Garrett.
1. Quinn.

Six things that annoy you:

6. LOS ANGELES. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT!
5. Hip-Hop & that Rap CRAP!
4. Public Transportation.
3. Working at GUESS?
2. School & homework.
1. People who are OVERLY trendy. Please pick one and leave it at that.

Five things you touch everyday:

5. Wallet.
4. Hair.
3. Underwear.
2. Toohbrush.
1. Backpack.

Four television shows you watch:

4. KTLA News.
3. Entertainment Tonight.
2. The Simpsons.
1. Infomercials. I don't have cable.

Three things you wear everyday:

3. Denim.
2. Van's.
1. Polos.

Two celebrity crushes:

2. Jake Gyllenhaal.
1. Gael Garcia Bernal.

One thing about you that you want everyone to know:

1. I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF CALIFORNIA! Oh, and I'm planning on coming home back home to Wisco. and Chicago at the end of SEPTEMBER so keep your calendars open!

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Clearing My Thoughts

[Aug. 8th, 2005|12:56 am]

[	Current Mood	\|	depressed	]
[	Current Music	\|	Embers & Envelopes - Mae	]

It's Sunday; either the week's just beginning or ending. I'm not quite sure how I'm looking at it yet. It's almost 1 AM and my homework's only half done. But, that's okay, I'm over at Joanna's and we're both working on lab homework so it's not so lonely and crazy. She's about the only thing keeping me sane now.

I'm not quite sure what's bothering me, but I've just gotten so depressed lately. I don't know if it's because I miss my family or because I miss some of my friends from Chicago, or what exactly. It could be the fact that I'm completely broke too. I guess I'm getting used to the idea that I'm working a full time job now. So that's one of my last worries, surprisingly. SIGH.

Los Angeles. Never what it seems. I just want to give up. Thinking about this two year degree costing me nearly 60 grand is making me worried. I hope I can be happier in the near future.

Alright, I thought I was going to get out some more information and thoughts but nope.

On a lighter note, Christine sent me a package today with a CD, Chicago photo album, and some popsicle makers. It made my day. Good to know people still care even though I'm 3,000 miles away.

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In A Nutshell

[Aug. 5th, 2005|11:31 am]

[	Current Mood	\|	crappy	]
[	Current Music	\|	This Time Around - Howie Day	]

I'm coming down with something and I'm not quite sure what it is. I'm slowly starting to lose my voice and I'm getting more hours at work, the two combined is not so hot. I fell asleep on the bus today coming to class and now I can't seem to wake myself up. Perhaps a diet coke might do the job. I didn't go to classes at all this week or last week, which isn't very smart of me. I don't know what's due and I'm going to be so unprepared. I hate this. Even if I wanted to move somewhere out of LA, I couldn't. I'm stuck here 'til at least July of next year. Sigh. It's going to be a long, long 11 months to come.

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